Can’t we make that marriage work?

It’s a simple thought that occurred while visiting some relatives last week.... The elderly lady, my dad’s aunt, gave a passing reference, ``You know your father was born 11 days after I came as a bride to their house.’’ That counts to sixty five long years of togetherness! And the oldies seemed blissfully happy. They had a fascinating charm to their relationship. 

Fast forward to this morning...A friend casually dropped in at my place. A smile that she entered our home with, started to fade when I spoke about her daughter. She broke down...``we have decided to separate with mutual consent and my husband and his family want to keep the baby with them.’’ Having known the couple as separate individuals for years, it is hard to believe. The words are still ringing in my ears...

Seeing families break these days, is becoming more and more common, but you feel the pain when it is someone close to you who is going through it. 

No comparisons to be made here. But just the thought – A beautiful complete story of those who are nearing the end of their life’s journey and another going into shambles just as it has begun to take complete shape....alas!

Two mature, good people giving in to the strength of their large inflated egos! Details need no brooding as any reason to justify such a dastardly decision, is crap. Three lives gone awry. Will the little girl who has no idea why she will not be living with both her parents as a family, ever value these relationships? What about the individuals themselves – where has all the love gone? Doesn’t it hurt badly to let go someone who has been a friend, companion and a  partner with whom you have shared a part of your life? Is the ego more important than the fulfillment of having a caring family, people whom you have loved to be with? 

Compromise, tolerance, trust and respect are among the few very important ingredients to make any relationship work. We do it every day with everyone and in every sphere of life, then why not today and here? 

There is no equation in marital relation, but there are definitely some additions, some subtractions with multiplications and divisions too! If we want to add strength to the marital bond, we add the positivity and subtract negativity. Dividing the pain and rough patches will definitely help multiply love and harmony.

Today, one of the best couples is drifting away from each other...and as they say - personal matters should not be interfered with, so, no one is taking the first step to tell the couple that - You both are wrong. Just sit down, set aside that ego and look at the whole thing once again. Is the reason for split good enough to put yourselves and a small child go through all the pain? You may not care for each other’s feelings but what is the fault of the child who will always ask why her family was not the same as her friends? 

Yes...you are right....I’m meeting them tomorrow...I strongly believe that this marriage can definitely be saved! This one’s just for the two wonderful people!

Celebrate Friendship Day Virtually: Old Relationship with New Style

Days are the gone when friendship day is only celebrated at real world’s places, as this time social networking sites are also ready to celebrate friendship day virtually with their million members. Friendship, a ten letter word, comprises all emotions of a relation. True friend shows you a path in deep sorrow, confusions and troubles. With this changing world friendship has changed its cover too.  The emotions of friendship are still the same but with new style. Many are ready to rock on this friendship day in virtual world of friendship.

We can always stay connected with our old friends in the virtual world of internet. Social networking sites are like a boon for those who are unable to meet their friends on this upcoming friendship day celebration. Virtual friendship has same old warmth but new dreams. We can say medium has changed but not the feeling. Many think friendship means trust and honesty and couldn’t be happen without spending time with friends in real world. But if our heart is true then we can make long term strong friendship.

Hectic life styles, time shortage, office overtime to get work completed, are some few reasons that are keeping your loving friends apart from your life. Internet provides you best medium to always being online and available for your friends. You can talk to them from anywhere no matter you are in the office or college. You can share your sadness and happiness anytime with them. It makes you feel that you have never been apart from your friends.

It does not matter how you are celebrating your friendship day, virtually or in the real world. The only thing that matters is your true feeling for your friend. Support your friends and show love to them, are the two main emotions that have importance to make your bond of friendship stronger. 

Life is not always a fairytale, face the reality

Fairytale continue to fascinate all whether child or adult. Thinking about wonderful things that we wish to have, always gives us nice feeling. Facing reality is not easy thing but necessary to live a better life.

Wake you up from this unnecessary day dreaming, as it is important to focus on your real life. Although making future plans what you want to do or what you want to be is good but you have to keep in mind that focus is vital.

Keep your fantasies to a minimum. Though it is pleasure to dream up wonderful things like imaginations with your favorite film star or things you wish to get, it is crucial to keep your day dreaming to a strict minimum. Don’t let your fantasies regulate your life and keep you away from real things.

Give importance what you have. Thinking all the time about the things we want, is tolerable at times, but sometimes, it can give us disappointment and displease since we do not have those stuff in real. Imagining about doing good jobs, higher marks in school can sometimes give positive motivation to do your desired works but sometimes it can make you upset. Thinking all the time about those things you don’t have can make you feel badly. Realize the plain things in life and their worth. Always remember this to feel positive.

Accept you as you are. If you want to change something in you then instead of thinking take action to make your life better. Day dreaming won't change anything. Face the reality and take step to make it better. Although shifting certain things in your life may be not easy, it is better to try to solve them than dreaming it in your thoughts.

End thinking about unrealistic fantasies all the time, it’s not a good thing to do. Many of us easily get extremely obsessed with what we read or watch in films, TV or books. TV and movie world is not a real world. It can’t solve our life problems.

Make new friends, talk to them, share your views and make yourself socially active. Those people who are not socially active often have much time to think unrealistic things. So avoid being alone all the time, make friends and increase your contacts.

If you feel you can’t stop thinking so much and your day dreaming is taking a severe dangerous step such as murder suicide etc. then visit a physiologist as soon as possible. It can be a serious mental problem. Live happy and enjoy every moment of life.

Your first love relationship starts with you only

Why people feel lonely and sad? Why they always need somebody to fill their loneliness? When they meet someone special, they attract to him and make a quick love relationship. They define it love. Sharing thoughts, feelings and emotions are necessary to make a love relationship alive. But when is the last time you show love to yourself? Where is the “you” among your all relationships? All of you don’t do anything to make your relationship with yourself strong and always alive.

Sit and think for a while about real love. Real love doesn’t need anything. But then why you need someone to fill the gap of your life? Don’t think that there is always a need of someone to live happy, to feel happy, and to be loved. You can love yourself and can be sufficient unto yourself. You can be happy with yourself and real love is too possible with yourself.  

You are always feel uncertain and anxiety whether the other’s love for you true or not. It means it’s not the real and true love what you are doing to other. If it is real then why you have worries about it? Let it happens and enjoy it fully. But you can’t able to do this because there is some uncertainty because we can’t read other’s mind and heart what he thinks and desire. Your love is just your need. You want your lover to be with you always to fill your emptiness. You are both just using each other as a thing. 

When the love is finished you realize that it was false. Only false love comes to an end. It’s not like that your love had not any truth but you were both not capable to feel and grasp that truth. You need love but you are not able to feel it. 

You all don’t know to love yourself if you are then rather using anybody, you share love with him. And you feel always thankful to the person for receiving your love with heart. If you love yourself somebody else also loves you. If you are happy with yourself other people also feel happy in your company. Make yourself aware and make your heart realize about the love that is in your heart and it’s not your need it’s your gift given by the God. Make the love relationship alive and share the love with the world.

Don’t let Love to be a self-destructive emotion rather use its energy to enjoy life

Love is like a beautiful and happy feeling given by God but unfortunately not for all. Those who find their true and long-lasting love, they are considered as luckiest people of the universe but what about those who face a bad love relation and make themselves out of rest of the world. Many people think same about love like the song “love is like a razor that leaves your soul to bleed”
Everyone here who believed himself in love, go through big emotional upheavals and is more habitually gloomy and unfocused to a certain extent than delighted and calm. Age factor affect people’s feeling about love time to time. In young age, a person share fine points of his relationship and his happy feelings to his friends but as a person grow mature, he wish to share the soreness and uneasiness of love and exchange some suggestion and guidance. Why love brings aged people so much unhappiness

Young people look as if so much more at ease in and out of a love relationship. They are capable to put to one side their love life to focus on their studies and career. To them, saga and love are a part of life, to be shelved when more urgent desires call for notice. If a love relationship give them pain and suffocation, they completely capable of getting out of that relation, and walking on to a new path. The adult age group but, still fixed in the Romeo-Juliet form seems to not be capable to do the same with their painful relationship as youngster do. Their stakes are superior, emotional feelings run deeper in heart and dedication more set in glue. 

 

The aged people are eagerly ready to explore and enter relationships, but they have not been clever to learn the technique of leaving a relationship if it doesn’t work. Youngster in love-relationship, rather than make themselves out from rest of the world, become more inclusive and keep touch with their friends, thus enjoying a lot of peer support. An older couple normally builds a separate and secret world for themselves, shutting out others. They are very clandestine and cautious about their love lives.

Sometimes love becomes a deadly magnetism that leads you inescapably towards devastation. Now the question is raised “Why demolish the happiness of life in the hope of an indescribable, dreamlike, everlasting love? Rather than let love to invasion your life as a deeply emotional and upsetting extreme thing, limit the intensity to the little time you spend together and use the resultant energy to fuel the rest of your life and you will find that there is a lot more pleasure and accomplishment to be found in life than love alone.

Nobody today can show 100% loyalty to you or your concerns. Love, rather than a hearty commitment, can be a little energy to empower the rest of your life. If you can love like that, you will be able to live your life fully.

Digital love Relationship: Love at First Byte - Social Networking Rocks

 

With the advances of digital technologies, Love-relationship now no longer has any restrictions. Meet someone new online on social networking sites or have feast with your loved-one from miles away, is all achievable in the digital time. Social networking sites and communication apparatuses of the digital time present couples a lot of opportunities to chat thus love relationship has been changed into a digital practice.

Couples just switch on their personal computers or laptops and webcams and turning out the other things of world entirely, start chatting face to face, even though being in poles apart. Online social networking sites such as Orkut, Facebook are very famous among young generations. People like to rejoice their relationship by status updates on these sites. They share their pictures, news and experiences. They love to tell their life story to online community. Social networking sites make available them a stage to convey what’s going on in their mind. People are exchanging virtual gifts between themselves.

Digital age technology makes the world shrinking. Internet gives them facility to talk face to face free of charge. Couples are fixing dates on internet. Physical separation is very painful to some couples; internet is like God to them that giving some relief in their sad times. Internet makes easier to get someone to fall in love with. It made world a playground. People are living their digital lives their own way.

Sometimes the impacts of digital love relationship can be harmful. Digital love relationships can hurt you if you don’t consider some harmful aspects of this kind of love relationship. So, before talking to a person on net, make ensure yourself that with whom you are talking is an honest person. Age, photograph can be wrong sometimes. Because, most people don’t put their own photographs but of their friends on social networking sites. Don’t trust the other person’s age. May be with whom you are chatting is someone else not your friend.

Love is unique in its way. 

Digital love relationship is not always wrong but not able to give you real happiness. Computer is just a tool not a living thing. So, stop living an online life. Meet your loved one in your real world if possible. Love is a true and alive feeling not digital feeling. Someone special of your life whom you met on a social networking site or in real life, try to meet that person personally for making a strong and honest love-relationship.

Stifled Relationship Die Soon: No One Can Grow in the Shade

Are you feeling no more excitement in your relationship? Before a relationship comes to that point, you have to take a look at it and try to find out the exact problem.  Human’s nature has always been dependable on one another for a source of fulfillment of one’s requirement of daily life. One wants freedom at some point while at other point he wants togetherness.

But sometimes, this kind of nature creates so much over attachment to each other that relationship becomes stifled. One partner start to overlap other’s feeling and becomes dominant to other. This kind of relationship die soon because of uncommon ground of the both partner’s thinking.

The warning signs:Doing everything together is fun and love but not always. If its only one’s choice and other don’t want to get involved than may be there are more negative feelings, such as possessiveness, clinginess or jealousy involved. One can start to feel lack of attention and find difficult to express his feelings. He feels his growth is prevented by other. The sense of controlling one another developed in that relation. The stifled partner feels less confident and finds him unable to doing anything alone. That causes an emotionally traumatized upbringing to him.

Get rid of this problem:

Talk honestly to your partner about the belief that the healthiness of your relationship is dependent on both of you being able to grow as independent people as well as together in a couple. Happiness of both partners requires growth of their professional lives individually. As much as you can avoid arguing and blaming. Try to clear your partner about your individual need and space. Quiet time, working space and emotional space are must for a healthy relationship.

A partner should be understood the fact that life partner is soul mate not cellmates. Insecurity, fear of loss and misunderstanding should be solved by healthy communications time to time. One need time to one’s own interests and hobbies to make life fun and worthy. Adjusting of space for optimum growth of both individual and the couple is an ongoing demand in all relationships.

Successful couple make prepared themselves for adjusting distance between both when they are close or when gone too far apart. Listen truly to your partner and assure him that this is not about wanting permanent space from your partner. It’s about allowing one a “growth space” as you continues to share your lives and love together. One has to be strong enough to accept this thing by heart and adjust its life when needed. This will not change their love and relationship infect make it more mature. Accept your partner’s advice and give the one a chance to express his feelings.

Value Your Relations not Your Possessions

Relationships are important aspects for all human beings. Everyone expects a long lasting good relationship with his loved ones. In this journey of life, we meet many people and make relationship with them that ranges from professional relationship to personal relationship. These relationships leave a lasting impression upon our lives. A home without family and relations is just a building made of stones and sand. There is no life in this. Your relations give it value.

Understand importance of a relation:

God has already decided who will be in your life. It’s the game of the Destiny. We can’t change it. Hence, you can feel its importance by keeping trust in creator’s choice. Whatever gift life gives us, we have to understand its value, its purpose and its benefits. True relationship adds value and fragrance to life. Whenever you meet someone special who fills the gap of loneliness and brings happiness in your life, make your life worth. Relationship is a commitment that we make to get involved with another person emotionally, physically and spiritually. Relationship is like a plant which needs constantly attention and love to grow into a tree.

How relations breaks:

When you enter into a relationship, you want it to last till the end of the life. Unfortunately, sometimes we become so busy in our professional life that we couldn’t pay attention our relationship thus making it weak and dead. Lifestyles changed and so do people. People are now more career-oriented and money minded. Earning money and making large properties became their first desire. Today, people are not giving enough time and importance to their personal relations. Because of this, after sometimes, cracks and stretches start to show and impact bad effects on a relation and people could not find themselves dedicating more and more time to its maintenance. 

Assess your relationship’s value: 

When you start to find that your relationship no longer suits your needs, at this point, you need to assess your relationship’s value. At this movement you should pay a little attention on its problems through inspection of all the areas. It could be little tough to evaluate the exact situation. Fighting, periodic arguing, constant dissensions and exchange of hot words are the some sign of serious problems.

Relationship has more value than your possessions such as money, wealth, property, great body; good looks etc. If you give them more importance, you will end up a very sad and lonely person in life. These are not much valuable than your relations. Wealth is just a short time desire and cannot give you true happiness; it’s the relationship that value to your life. Ultimately, your happiness is the prime importance. Before getting your true relations lost, start to realize their value otherwise wealth can be earned again in the life but not the true relation.

Love Truly Someone With No Drama!

Love, if we define in words, it’s a feeling of heart and if we study it psychologically it has many recognizable signs to diagnose. Gazing at beloved unblinkingly, listening with deep attention to his each and every word, endeavoring to sit as near to him as possible, drinking the remainder of what he has left in the cup are some signs of falling-love for many people. But is it true for all lovers? In this world many love-married couple spends together many years with no signs of romance in their expressions. People think if couple never seems in love, they do not love each other anymore. Their love has lost its charm by times.

There are a lot of examples of married couple who have a perfect balance of work and family life. We usually see them as a couple with kids and not two people who had been in love for many years. We couldn’t see them as individuals with loving hearts whom could fall in love and had dreams. So what if they are not seemed like the lovey-dovey types. Why we all want proof of romance in their feelings to confirm love. Going for work together, returning home together, cooking together and sipping early morning’s tea together aren’t not the signs of their internal love to each other?

Love is not so easy thing. One has to do a lot of sacrifices to get what one wants. Having your beloved as your life partner, a good job, sweet children and becoming perfect parents are not enough for this one life?  What else does one want? Love has no drama. Showing many signs, expressions, feelings are just the upper layer of the cake, which looks good but to know the exact taste, you have to eat it.

Some couple feel satisfy by having perfect life partner and family. They are happy with their life. In this world, everyone wants to see a love-couple going out and enjoying an extravagant social life, but a middle class parent believe in saving money for their children’s future and love to watch them grow. They are sharing something unique, and that is love, without any drama. Love is love; it’s not the thing of exhibition and not made for selling. Keep love in your heart and live a wonderful life.

The Toxic Relationships of Love: Recognize and Escape of them.

Love, a strong feeling of affection for somebody, makes a person feel on the high.You can find a lot of books, poems and literature filled with romantic love stories. But does a love story always like a fairy tale or sometimes it can be your worst dream? Love for some people is like a nightmare which destroying their lives. Almost every person love once in their lives but only healthy love goes to next level. Half of the love stories end in bad realities. Only true and healthy love can give the positive results that we
expect from a relationship.

Why love happens

Love is like a celebration of the universe and God’s gift. We are social creatures and need care and love for good living. Human has a tendency to love and to be loved. When we meet someone who shows care and faith to us, we automatically start to attract towards him and make an emotional and mental attachment to him. Infect its not bad or shameful feeling, it’s our human nature. Loving someone is like loving the Almighty.

Recognizing the love relationship

 Firstly, we must be sure that we are committed to a healthy relationship. In our hectic world, everyone is living on their needs. Most people make a relation for just fulfilling their desires. It is tragic but a sad truth that today’s people don’t want to make healthy relationship. Recognizing the toxic love could be hard but not impossible. If you feel insecurity, loneliness, fear in your relationship than it’s the right time to think on it.

Jealousy, possessiveness & competition in a relation can influence one’s health badly. It can cause depression and mental disturbance. Life becomes painful and dull.


Try to resolve or just leave the toxic relation

  If you are in love deeply and feel strong attachment that you can not leave, so it is better to tell your partner about your true feelings and ongoing effects on your health and life. Partners should discuss and consult each other and find a way to solve the problems. But, if it doesn't work, than it the time to end your relation right now and move on.

We Come Alone and definitely We will Go Alone

While reading this title, you might be thinking that I must be a recluse person who became detached from the world or retired from worldly attachments. Well if you are thinking so than you are absolutely wrong. Not only I am but you all also know about this universal truth. Its nature’s law that who take birth on this earth, comes alone and when he will go back to the universe, will go alone.
 The world, all the articles, all the beings and our body all are perishable. One day these all things go for an end. That’s the fate of all of us. But if it is the fate of everyone, why we are here? Why do we Take birth? Why do we Take rebirth? Why do we Make families, relations, jobs and many other human activities?

The whole truth of life is contained in the immortal words of the Gita. “Our duty is only action” perhaps if one descends this truth deep into one’s mind and soul and acts upon it, one will be able to realize the aim for which one come upon this earth. This life of ours is full of so many trials, surprises and sorrows.

Life is a ceaseless struggle not only for us but for everyone. May be sometimes you can not face your pain and start to try to detach yourself from the reality of this life. May be you are not happy with your present time and want to run away from this. But is it the right solution of your problem? Are you the only who are facing all this troubles of life?

Try to accept your responsibilities to this beautiful world. Enrich your life with true relations. We should stop thinking about the future. The events of life are unpredictable. We do not know what is going to take place the next moment. The human life is nothing but just a stage where all our activities constitute a part of the high drama whose producer and director is the Destiny. We should try to make our life fruitful and meaningful. And remember the thing that we are not alone here, our god is within ourselves.