Letting go...

His eyes remained glued to the Lufthansa Airlines flight that had just taken off from the International Airport and followed it till the same diminished into the horizons.

While on way back home, sitting in the rear seat of his car, tears swelled up his eyes as he managed to hide them from the driver looking through the rear view mirror. 

His thoughts drifted back to the cold winter night of December 23^rd when he received a call from his wife’s gynecologist asking him to rush to the hospital as his wife had to undergo an emergency procedure to have the baby. Alisa was born at 2.10 am local time. As he held the baby in his arms while wife recuperated in the operation theater for a few more hours, he had decided that he will not have any more kids. 

The one-child norm had been a part of his philosophy him from his early twenties. ``Children are responsibilities who need to be had as per your means and requirements,’’ he had once argued with his wife. While, Simran had always craved for at least two kids, she had to go with Amar when he said that they had just enough means to support and bring up one child in a good way.

Alisa slowly became an inseparable part of Amar’s life; he simply could not bear her go through any hardship to attain a certain end. ``Why don’t you give her that glass of milk at her table, rather than asking her to make an effort of coming to the dining table while she is studying,’’ he would ask Simran. 

His affection for the child grew to the extent that he changed his entire concept of having just one child. Whenever asked, he would simply say, ``I could not share my love for Alisa with any other child, even if it was my own.’’

One fine day, Alisa came home with news of this boy who was a batch-mate at her medical school, and he was planning to do specialization in a foreign country, ``So, you too are looking at such an option? What’s wrong with Indian institutes? You need not apply and my words are final,’’ declared an obviously jealous father.

In his single-track-thinking with respect to Alisa,  Amar had stopped realising that the girl had actually grown up to have a thinking and a mind of her own, she was 24 years old! He was deeply hurt, when the letter accepting Alisa’s application in an American University arrived, while he was rushing out for office and he simply took the u-turn towards home. 

Before Alisa was back from her college that day, Simran and Amar had finished rounds of discussions regarding the fact of life – one that of LETTING GO! An act that all of us have to do at some point of life or the other, and it is not all that difficult when accepted as a way of life.

Having handed over the letter to his only daughter, Amar had walked out of the drawing room leaving Alisa with Simran.

Can’t we make that marriage work?

It’s a simple thought that occurred while visiting some relatives last week.... The elderly lady, my dad’s aunt, gave a passing reference, ``You know your father was born 11 days after I came as a bride to their house.’’ That counts to sixty five long years of togetherness! And the oldies seemed blissfully happy. They had a fascinating charm to their relationship. 

Fast forward to this morning...A friend casually dropped in at my place. A smile that she entered our home with, started to fade when I spoke about her daughter. She broke down...``we have decided to separate with mutual consent and my husband and his family want to keep the baby with them.’’ Having known the couple as separate individuals for years, it is hard to believe. The words are still ringing in my ears...

Seeing families break these days, is becoming more and more common, but you feel the pain when it is someone close to you who is going through it. 

No comparisons to be made here. But just the thought – A beautiful complete story of those who are nearing the end of their life’s journey and another going into shambles just as it has begun to take complete shape....alas!

Two mature, good people giving in to the strength of their large inflated egos! Details need no brooding as any reason to justify such a dastardly decision, is crap. Three lives gone awry. Will the little girl who has no idea why she will not be living with both her parents as a family, ever value these relationships? What about the individuals themselves – where has all the love gone? Doesn’t it hurt badly to let go someone who has been a friend, companion and a  partner with whom you have shared a part of your life? Is the ego more important than the fulfillment of having a caring family, people whom you have loved to be with? 

Compromise, tolerance, trust and respect are among the few very important ingredients to make any relationship work. We do it every day with everyone and in every sphere of life, then why not today and here? 

There is no equation in marital relation, but there are definitely some additions, some subtractions with multiplications and divisions too! If we want to add strength to the marital bond, we add the positivity and subtract negativity. Dividing the pain and rough patches will definitely help multiply love and harmony.

Today, one of the best couples is drifting away from each other...and as they say - personal matters should not be interfered with, so, no one is taking the first step to tell the couple that - You both are wrong. Just sit down, set aside that ego and look at the whole thing once again. Is the reason for split good enough to put yourselves and a small child go through all the pain? You may not care for each other’s feelings but what is the fault of the child who will always ask why her family was not the same as her friends? 

Yes...you are right....I’m meeting them tomorrow...I strongly believe that this marriage can definitely be saved! This one’s just for the two wonderful people!

Your first love relationship starts with you only

Why people feel lonely and sad? Why they always need somebody to fill their loneliness? When they meet someone special, they attract to him and make a quick love relationship. They define it love. Sharing thoughts, feelings and emotions are necessary to make a love relationship alive. But when is the last time you show love to yourself? Where is the “you” among your all relationships? All of you don’t do anything to make your relationship with yourself strong and always alive.

Sit and think for a while about real love. Real love doesn’t need anything. But then why you need someone to fill the gap of your life? Don’t think that there is always a need of someone to live happy, to feel happy, and to be loved. You can love yourself and can be sufficient unto yourself. You can be happy with yourself and real love is too possible with yourself.  

You are always feel uncertain and anxiety whether the other’s love for you true or not. It means it’s not the real and true love what you are doing to other. If it is real then why you have worries about it? Let it happens and enjoy it fully. But you can’t able to do this because there is some uncertainty because we can’t read other’s mind and heart what he thinks and desire. Your love is just your need. You want your lover to be with you always to fill your emptiness. You are both just using each other as a thing. 

When the love is finished you realize that it was false. Only false love comes to an end. It’s not like that your love had not any truth but you were both not capable to feel and grasp that truth. You need love but you are not able to feel it. 

You all don’t know to love yourself if you are then rather using anybody, you share love with him. And you feel always thankful to the person for receiving your love with heart. If you love yourself somebody else also loves you. If you are happy with yourself other people also feel happy in your company. Make yourself aware and make your heart realize about the love that is in your heart and it’s not your need it’s your gift given by the God. Make the love relationship alive and share the love with the world.

Digital love Relationship: Love at First Byte - Social Networking Rocks

 

With the advances of digital technologies, Love-relationship now no longer has any restrictions. Meet someone new online on social networking sites or have feast with your loved-one from miles away, is all achievable in the digital time. Social networking sites and communication apparatuses of the digital time present couples a lot of opportunities to chat thus love relationship has been changed into a digital practice.

Couples just switch on their personal computers or laptops and webcams and turning out the other things of world entirely, start chatting face to face, even though being in poles apart. Online social networking sites such as Orkut, Facebook are very famous among young generations. People like to rejoice their relationship by status updates on these sites. They share their pictures, news and experiences. They love to tell their life story to online community. Social networking sites make available them a stage to convey what’s going on in their mind. People are exchanging virtual gifts between themselves.

Digital age technology makes the world shrinking. Internet gives them facility to talk face to face free of charge. Couples are fixing dates on internet. Physical separation is very painful to some couples; internet is like God to them that giving some relief in their sad times. Internet makes easier to get someone to fall in love with. It made world a playground. People are living their digital lives their own way.

Sometimes the impacts of digital love relationship can be harmful. Digital love relationships can hurt you if you don’t consider some harmful aspects of this kind of love relationship. So, before talking to a person on net, make ensure yourself that with whom you are talking is an honest person. Age, photograph can be wrong sometimes. Because, most people don’t put their own photographs but of their friends on social networking sites. Don’t trust the other person’s age. May be with whom you are chatting is someone else not your friend.

Love is unique in its way. 

Digital love relationship is not always wrong but not able to give you real happiness. Computer is just a tool not a living thing. So, stop living an online life. Meet your loved one in your real world if possible. Love is a true and alive feeling not digital feeling. Someone special of your life whom you met on a social networking site or in real life, try to meet that person personally for making a strong and honest love-relationship.

Stifled Relationship Die Soon: No One Can Grow in the Shade

Are you feeling no more excitement in your relationship? Before a relationship comes to that point, you have to take a look at it and try to find out the exact problem.  Human’s nature has always been dependable on one another for a source of fulfillment of one’s requirement of daily life. One wants freedom at some point while at other point he wants togetherness.

But sometimes, this kind of nature creates so much over attachment to each other that relationship becomes stifled. One partner start to overlap other’s feeling and becomes dominant to other. This kind of relationship die soon because of uncommon ground of the both partner’s thinking.

The warning signs:Doing everything together is fun and love but not always. If its only one’s choice and other don’t want to get involved than may be there are more negative feelings, such as possessiveness, clinginess or jealousy involved. One can start to feel lack of attention and find difficult to express his feelings. He feels his growth is prevented by other. The sense of controlling one another developed in that relation. The stifled partner feels less confident and finds him unable to doing anything alone. That causes an emotionally traumatized upbringing to him.

Get rid of this problem:

Talk honestly to your partner about the belief that the healthiness of your relationship is dependent on both of you being able to grow as independent people as well as together in a couple. Happiness of both partners requires growth of their professional lives individually. As much as you can avoid arguing and blaming. Try to clear your partner about your individual need and space. Quiet time, working space and emotional space are must for a healthy relationship.

A partner should be understood the fact that life partner is soul mate not cellmates. Insecurity, fear of loss and misunderstanding should be solved by healthy communications time to time. One need time to one’s own interests and hobbies to make life fun and worthy. Adjusting of space for optimum growth of both individual and the couple is an ongoing demand in all relationships.

Successful couple make prepared themselves for adjusting distance between both when they are close or when gone too far apart. Listen truly to your partner and assure him that this is not about wanting permanent space from your partner. It’s about allowing one a “growth space” as you continues to share your lives and love together. One has to be strong enough to accept this thing by heart and adjust its life when needed. This will not change their love and relationship infect make it more mature. Accept your partner’s advice and give the one a chance to express his feelings.

Value Your Relations not Your Possessions

Relationships are important aspects for all human beings. Everyone expects a long lasting good relationship with his loved ones. In this journey of life, we meet many people and make relationship with them that ranges from professional relationship to personal relationship. These relationships leave a lasting impression upon our lives. A home without family and relations is just a building made of stones and sand. There is no life in this. Your relations give it value.

Understand importance of a relation:

God has already decided who will be in your life. It’s the game of the Destiny. We can’t change it. Hence, you can feel its importance by keeping trust in creator’s choice. Whatever gift life gives us, we have to understand its value, its purpose and its benefits. True relationship adds value and fragrance to life. Whenever you meet someone special who fills the gap of loneliness and brings happiness in your life, make your life worth. Relationship is a commitment that we make to get involved with another person emotionally, physically and spiritually. Relationship is like a plant which needs constantly attention and love to grow into a tree.

How relations breaks:

When you enter into a relationship, you want it to last till the end of the life. Unfortunately, sometimes we become so busy in our professional life that we couldn’t pay attention our relationship thus making it weak and dead. Lifestyles changed and so do people. People are now more career-oriented and money minded. Earning money and making large properties became their first desire. Today, people are not giving enough time and importance to their personal relations. Because of this, after sometimes, cracks and stretches start to show and impact bad effects on a relation and people could not find themselves dedicating more and more time to its maintenance. 

Assess your relationship’s value: 

When you start to find that your relationship no longer suits your needs, at this point, you need to assess your relationship’s value. At this movement you should pay a little attention on its problems through inspection of all the areas. It could be little tough to evaluate the exact situation. Fighting, periodic arguing, constant dissensions and exchange of hot words are the some sign of serious problems.

Relationship has more value than your possessions such as money, wealth, property, great body; good looks etc. If you give them more importance, you will end up a very sad and lonely person in life. These are not much valuable than your relations. Wealth is just a short time desire and cannot give you true happiness; it’s the relationship that value to your life. Ultimately, your happiness is the prime importance. Before getting your true relations lost, start to realize their value otherwise wealth can be earned again in the life but not the true relation.